Open Letter From Shelby

I was in a discussion today with someone about the very serious subject of just how widespread the topic of weight - and specifically the loss of it - as the end all be all solution for PCOS and other chronic or autoimmune issues.

Listen, I’m going to say something that may shock you, yes, I DO believe that losing weight MAY help SOME of MY symptoms that I live with daily due to PCOS and MCTD (a cluster autoimmune condition that presents with varying symptoms but for me mostly fatigue, joint pain and swelling, rashes and fever).

But I need you to listen to what I’m going to say next:

I also believe that dieting is NOT the solution for my PCOS or my autoimmune condition because, I, as the longest running expert on my body having lived in it and with it for almost 35 years - have tried every diet there is and NOT.A.SINGLE.ONE.CURED.OR.FIXED.IT.

I’m not saying there’s nothing to be said about making food and exercise choices that are more conducive for the body and conditions you live in. Absolutely, eating certain foods make my body run better and moving more helps me feel more confident and stronger. I’m not denying that.

But we make this such a black and white topic. You hear all the time,

“Eat less. Move more.”

“If you lost X amount of pounds than XYZ will be SO much better.”

But we don’t live in a black and white world.

We live in a world where doctors push us aside and out the door if we don’t fit certain parameters and we get ignored by health care professionals if we don’t fit in their not very thoroughly or compassionately thought out box of what chronic illness or pcos should look like.

We live in a world where far too many people are facing serious and very real repercussions of living in a world saturated with diet culture.

Over the past 5 years of being online, I’ve been every spectrum on the BMI scale- from obese, to underweight to right where I was “supposed to be” and guess what? I’ve felt like shit at every damn spot along that BMI plot line.

I have spent the better part of my young adult life trying to manipulate my body, believing that if it shrunk, changed or weighed a different way than it does at this exact moment somehow my life would be better. I would be better.

But I won’t do that anymore.

It is utterly exhausting and a waste of what precious time I’ve been given on this earth.

I’ve made a promise to myself that the best way to take care of my body, is to appreciate it how it is now- and treat it in a way that isn’t punishing it for what it’s been through, been burdened with or the size of it.

Today, I live in a body that’s larger than I used to think was acceptable. I have issues with my pcos and my MCTD, And I manage how is best for me- mentally, emotionally and physically. I fight the urge to try to change it and fight back the inner shame that’s been ingrained in me to feel if it doesn’t look like what everyone else’s does. I refuse to follow another diet, plan or any other persons path, confused into believing it would give me their health, body or experience because I am uniquely myself.

I now only invest in things that make me feel more whole.

For me physically, that’s a gym membership, good running shoes, Spotify subscription and sunshine (which is free and so much more valuable than you think)

For me nutritionally, it’s in foods that make me happy while nourishing me and fulfilling me.

For me mentally, it’s in therapy and long walks and music and good friends.

And emotionally? It’s sharing all of this with you. Not everyone will agree. Not everyone will appreciate it.

But it’s where I stand.

I stand in the belief that I can live a happy life DESPITE the size of my body or the diet I subscribe to or the bs I’m not going to fall for anymore because we are so much more than diet culture and the incorrect belief that in order to be healthy you have to be a perfect 25 on the BMI scale.

You don’t have to stand where I stand, because you have your own light to shine from right where YOU are.

But if you’re with me, feel free to share this. Because there’s enough BS out there telling you to SHRINK, CHANGE or be anyone than who you are now.

And I love you just the way you are. You should try it, too. 💕

Xoxo

A former yoyo dieter, fall for any quick fix, ex believer in shrinking to be a better person

Shelby