When you don't recognize yourself

When you don't recognize yourself, and it's a good thing. The truth is, because the hormone treatment from the cancer, in the last 7 months, I've gained almost 40 lbs. This is after having a weight loss surgery and still in the prime weight loss time frame. 

It's taken quite the toll on my mentality of myself esteem. I know looks and weight aren't everything, but the cancer coming back was hard enough. I had the weight loss surgery to help my chances for IVF. But literally 2 months after the surgery, I knew that the cancer had returned, and 3 months later it was confirmed. I have been fighting to not gain weight, but other things happened where I that was the least of my worries, so the weight piled on. 

Then, in October Brian and I went on vacation. We went and did touristy things, and had all the adventures. He posted a picture of me from behind, and for a split moment, I thought to myself "who is that?" before realizing, it was me! 

Now before you start worrying, it was because I am apparently still a lot thinner than I realized. I see definition in my waist, a perky booty, heck even my legs look skinnier! Keep in mind, I was once 400lbs, so I realize I am not thin by any means, I am, however, learning to love my body, no matter what shape.

​And learning to love my body despite the fact that I have severe chronic illnesses and limitations. I'm proud that I can see beauty in myself, its few and far between when that happens, especially dealing with cancer and chronic illness that beats you down daily.

Despite it all, my body holds me, my soul, and THAT is who I am, and I am beautiful, inside and out!
-Jeni 

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